About Me

I’ve been writing this blog for quite some time now and in the process I have met and assisted a large amount of women from around the world. Recently I had a young lady write and ask me several questions about myself and although I couldn’t answer them all (obvious reasons), I answered as best I could.

This made me think, there had to be questions that other women had about Anonymousmale1 that they would like answered so they could get a better understanding about the man behind the name.

After mulling it over, I determined that it was only fair to allow a glimpse of who I am as a person and why I feel and think the way I do. I thought it would be unfair to simply write questions and then answer them myself, this way wouldn’t be beneficial to anyone but me. I felt it would be best served to allow women to send me questions and I would answer them as honestly as possible.

So, I asked several of my readers whom I have the privilege to also call friends, to send me questions that they would like to know the answers to. Several sent me a list of their questions and for this post I will be answering one writers questions for you all to read.

So now, lets play 20+ questions with Anonymousmale1!

Questions for Anonymousmale1:

At what point did you think you were as mature as your age?

I think I matured beyond my age by years when I was 16. My father passed away and although I was the youngest boy my family looked to me for guidance and direction. That’s a lot of responsibility for a young man. As for becoming as mature as my age, it was around the time when my son was born and I realized that I now had someone that would be depending on me for years to come.

If there was one absolute piece of advice you had to give every female – what would it be?

That the biggest test that men have for women is how long it will take him to sleep with her. If you fail this test you will never be more to him than another pretty face on a piece of a–. You see, if you are intimate with him too soon you will never earn two valuable ingredients to insure a solid relationship. Trust and respect!

He will not trust you because although he thinks you slept with him because he is special, however he also knows that other men feel they are special too. He will always be wondering when you’ll run into other special men and what they may get you to do.

He will not respect you because in his eyes you don’t really respect yourself. So why should he respect you? If you did respect yourself, it would have taken him much longer to be intimate with you. Your morals will be questioned.

Men are fickle, they want sex and then when you give it to them they use it against you. They do this because they want to feel good about themselves. Women who hold out long enough are considered possible marriage material, too short they are called bragging material. Which would you liked to be called?

What would be the one thing you would like to teach the male species?

Any idiot with a penis can be a dad. But to be a father you first must be a man. You have to accept responsibility for your child’s welfare and well being. You have to be willing to sacrifice your future for the sake of the future of the child that you helped create. If you are not willing to make this type of commitment, then I would suggest that you either always wear a condom or stay home and masturbate rather then ruining two people lives, not to mention your own.

And for all of you guys whom are running around talking about the children you have that you fail to take care of, please stop classifying yourself as a father. You have no idea what being a father really means, so stop lying to yourself and others.

Being a single parent is hard for a woman. She trusted you and now you want to paint her as the bad guy. She’s may be, but then again you’re not much of a man so you lack the skills to sit down and explain to her that it is important for you to be in your child’s life although you two are no longer together. Explain to her that although things didn’t work out between the two of you, there is no reason that the child should suffer. Take responsibility, be a man and work it out for the sake of a child who didn’t request to come into this world through your piss poor judgment.

Support the child financially and emotionally, be there to create that bond and do exactly what you said you would! In time the mother will accept the arrangement and it will be better for all three of you, especially the child because they really need fathers in their lives.

 Do you believe in Karma? And has it ever come back to haunt you?

Hell yes! I had a girlfriend once that I had feeling for but I wasn’t nearly in love with her as much as she was I. I did all the things I wasn’t supposed to do being in a so called relationship. I had to go away for a few months and while I was gone I discovered she was with someone else. I was crushed. It was at that moment that I realized that I did love her, but it was too late. My heartbreak was Karma for all the wrongs I had done to her. It took me months to recover, but as a man I still learned nothing from the lesson until years later.

Other than family, what is the one thing you can not live without?

The ability to read. I love reading books and articles. I would by far rather read a book then to see the movie.

What do you regret more? The things you haven’t done or the people you have hurt in life?
The women I have hurt in life by far. I’ve pretty much done almost everything I set out to do in life and if I could change anything I wouldn’t with the exception of apologizing to every woman I ever disrespected. That’s part of the reason I write this blog. My little way of giving back, although it’s still no enough.

 What was the hardest personal battle you had to face?

I once had a girlfriend and we were together for several years. Everyone thought we would be married. However, there was something people didn’t know. She and her mother weren’t very close, however she and her father were really close.

Once she had told me that while driving with her father one day he has spotted the daughter of one of his colleagues holding hands with a guy of a different race. He had pointed it out to her and informed her that if she ever married anyone from outside her race he would disown her.

I really loved her and thought that she would make a perfect mate for me, because she was the woman who taught me it was alright to trust women again. She was beautiful, smart, funny and supportive. She also had her own opinions and I loved the debates we would have. That was a great time in my life.

She accepted a position as a TV reporter in a town not far from her family and the deal was that I would come at a later date once I cleared all of my cases in Hawaii.
Once she left I determined that I wouldn’t go. I knew that I couldn’t marry her because it would cause her so much pain if she lost the love and respect of her father, especially since she and her mother weren’t very close.

If I married her and for whatever reason it didn’t work she would be left with no one. She’s lose her family because of me. I on the other hand wouldn’t lose anything. My family would love me regardless of who I chose to marry.

After careful consideration and much anguish, I broke off the relationship and told her to move on without me. She was heartbroken, as was I, but I thought it was best.

Years later she married a nice guy (of her race) they have two beautiful kids, her father is happy and she’s closer then ever with her mom. I am happy for her, I really am. She has no idea I used to check on her from time to time, but I needed to just to make sure that I made the right decision.

The hardest thing any man will ever do is let someone go that you truly love to ensure their happiness. The first few years were the hardest and I doubted my decision daily. I am relieved that it worked out for us both.

What has been the hardest question to answer from one of your followers?

The hardest question has been “Who am I?” I cannot really answer that. Right now I know two things about myself, 1) I am not the man I was 2) I am not the man I am going to be because I am not finished growing as a person. So this makes it difficult for me to answer who I really am at this point in my life. Of course I have a name, but I think that is unimportant at this time.

 In your opinion, is there such thing as women with too much power?

Only when she doesn’t have humility.

What is the most discerning quality you admire most in women?

Patience. Sometimes as men we can be rather immature, just as we were when we were kids. I admire women who show just the right amount of patience.

What is the top features physical and personality that have attracted you the most?

I like all women. However, I have always been attracted to women with dark hair and brown eyes. I am 6’1, so I’ve always been partial to women who are a lot shorter then I. Personality wise, I enjoy the company of women who are well read and can hold a conversation on anything from politics to sports. However, I am really impressed with women who speak their mind. Having her own opinion is intriguing to me, especially when she can defend her stance. I can be very opinionated and if her opinion is always the same as mine, I get bored.

 Have you ever come across a woman you seriously didn’t like and if so, what was it about her that was so unattractive?

Honestly, I’ve never met anyone that I didn’t like. Male or female. I’ve met people that I just didn’t understand and they hadn’t earned the right to make me want to spend my time trying to figure them out. There have been times on my job where I’ve met women that I just thought were real pieces of work, but then I reminded myself that they probably were nice but the circumstances caused an adverse reaction. I remember one girl that simply blew up at me and called me every name under the stars. When she was finished, I simply asked her if she felt better. She broke down in tears. She wasn’t mad at me at all, I was simply to closest person to lash out at. We are all like that as people.
Do you believe in “love at first sight” or “soul mates” etc?

Love at first sight? No, how about lust at first sight? It’s impossible to fall in love with someone you just met. You have no idea who this person is, he could be the Anti-Christ! Ha, ha. First sight states that you are only looking at his or her physical attributes, which really means it’s lust. As for soul mates, I would probably believe that if I was assured that you could have more than one. Most of the women I ever dated I thought were soul mates in the first few months.
When you first met your wife, did you believe that you had to change in order to be a better man for her?

Strangely enough I didn’t and to make matters worse I refused! I can remember telling her that I was marrying her because I loved her, however if she changed on me and began trying to change me I would leave her. I wanted to be who I was, the person she fell in love with and if I changed any it would be only because as a couple we evolved together, naturally. Hell, in my mind if I had to change for her then I wasn’t the man she needed to be with and therefore she should keep looking for him. I can only be me, that’s what I do best, me!
What would be your biggest personality weakness?

I procrastinate from time to time. I once had a Military shrink describe it as me not being able to function unless I was under some type of pressure. When none existed, he said I manufactured my own. It’s funny now because my boss says I only perform well when I face a impending deadline.
What is your best childhood memory?

Sitting down with my father and talking about life. Once when I was about 14 he called me into the living room where he was sitting. On the coffee table was a bottle of Gin. He had two glasses and he filled them both. He asked me if I would like one of them to which I declined.

He then told me that day, in our living room, that if I ever wanted a drink that I could have a drink at home with him. He stated that he did not under any circumstances want me out drinking in the streets with my friends.

I didn’t drink anyway, but just the idea that my father understood that I was getting older and he could take the time to sit down and have a drink with me was impressive. It also showed me that there was a way that men did things and a way boys did things and there was a big difference in the two.

Years later, my son and I had the exact same conversation in the living room of our home. He didn’t drink either, but my fathers message was important for me and him.

What is the worst thing you have ever done to a woman?
The day my sons mom told me that she was pregnant, I unthinkingly blurted out “Are you sure it’s mine?” She forgave me, but man I really wish I could erase that statement from my life, I really do.

There are other things I’ve done, however I am too ashamed of my past behavior to write them here. I am sorry.

If you didn’t have a family right now, what or where do you see yourself? 

I would probably be running around the world somewhere working for some foreign Government if not Uncle Sam. More then likely I’d be in Afghanistan or Iraq. My wife says I’m not normal unless there is chaos all around me. Sometimes I think she’s right.

What did you want to be when you were a child? (always a nice thing to know)

I wanted to play for the Globetrotters. It amazes me that when I was growing up everyone wanted to play in the NBA. Not me, I wanted to have fun playing basketball. The Globetrotters seemed like fun. Later I would turn down an opportunity to try-out for the NBA and I turned it down. The game wasn’t fun anymore, my palms had stopped sweating and I had a child on the way, so I joined the USAF to ensure I could take care of him and finish college. I’ve always thought I made the right decision, I still do.

When did you first learn to truly appreciate a woman?

When my Grandmother passed away. I watched how my family reacted and it wasn’t pretty. It created a vacuum that we all knew would never be filled. During this time I realized that she had 10 kids, 60 grandchildren, 47 great-grandchildren and 12 great-great grandchildren. Somehow, she made everyone of us feel special. No man could ever accomplish that feat, we are incapable. She understood everyone of us and treated us as special individuals with a special place in her heart. Because of this I’ve since understood why women make better managers of people then men. Because as women you possess the ability to treat everyone different but the same. Men as managers, we tend to have favorites because for whatever reason we elect to select certain people that we like more then everyone else and it shows. This seriously causes problems in the workplace.

Have you ever been hurt by a woman? And if so what is the difference between that and the way a man hurts a woman?

Yep, and the one that still stands out in my mind is my very first love. There is no difference, heartache is heartache. Men however tend to suffer in silence and we have a habit of letting our feelings consume us for years to come. As for me I made a promise that I would never feel that way again. So for years, instead of having just one girlfriend, I would have several. That way if one left me, I wouldn’t really care. It seems silly now, but that was my safety net. many men still subscribe to this way of coping with a broken heart. Today, they are called Dogs! Luckily, women generally don’t think this way. They don’t condemn men as a whole for the heartbreak caused by one. However, they do become cautious, but that’s a good thing.

 What is the biggest thing you have done to impress a woman?
I once flew half way around the world to attend the birthday party of a girl I had went out with twice. Surprised the s–t out of her, she hadn’t expected to see me for another 10 months. Because of that trip she understood that I was really serious about her. We dated for a couple of years, but my constant travel killed it in the end.
Do you believe in the concept that men should go after woman and not the other way around?

I think that although our society is changing, it is more productive for the man to chase the woman. Many people will disagree with me but it just seems more natural when the man is chasing. When a woman is pursuing the man it tends to make him feel a little bit uncomfortable. Personally, I never had a relationship with a woman who chased me. I slept with several, but I simply couldn’t make a serious relationship out of it because of the way it began. Call it role strain if you will.

What is your favourite colour?

My favorite color is Blue/ Royal blue to be exact.

What is your favorite movie?

I like all types of movies, however my favorite has to be “Silence of the Lambs” I love books by Thomas Harris and the movie with Anthony Hopkins and Jodi Foster was amazing. For me to enjoy a horror movie or thriller like this I have one criteria. It has to be believable! Otherwise I cannot sit and watch it. I’ve seen this one about 20 times and I love it every time.

What was the most important lesson your parents taught you?

That I could be anything I set my mind to. My father used to tell me that he didn’t care what I became as long as I became the best I possibly could at it. I tell my children the same thing.

Hopefully the questions and answers have provided some insight into me as the man behind Anonymousmale1. If you have your own questions, please send them to me at anonymousmalewv@yahoo.com

Questions provided by Courtney Sit of NZ. Thank you Courtney!