Even though whenever you turn on your television in America you get bombarded with sexual content, as Americans we still are very inhibited about sex. To make matters worse women are held to a different standard than men in the area of sexual pleasure.
As men we have failed women by not allowing them anywhere near the same amount of pleasure they have afforded us. Men unfortunately are selfish in many aspects of intimacy. After we’ve been with a woman for an amount of time we somehow forget that she has needs too. We go into a mode where our whole idea of making love is to please ourselves and in some strange way convince ourselves that it was good for you too. This is unacceptable, especially in light of the fact that it is our duty to ensure that you are happy in every aspect of the relationship.
We should know what you need and make sure that even though the frequency of the activity may slow, with each and every event you achieve total satisfaction. The marathon love making sessions that you enjoyed in the beginning of the relationship may slow to a steady pace but he should ensure that you achieve orgasm each and every time, at least once.
Now, for those of you women that are not in a relationship currently, what I am about to tell you is extremely important for your future relationship. When you first begin a relationship and somehow during this time we seem to have all the time in the world to explore all of our desires. During this time it is of the utmost importance that you take this opportunity to teach him how to bring you to climax. If there is a certain way you need to be positioned in order to achieve orgasm, this is the time to train him on where and how. This will ensure you that when you get into the later times of your relationship and life takes over he’ll be able to please you in minutes and be satisfied that he did.
You see, many women complain that their boyfriend of five years doesn’t please them anymore. Their sexual romps had fallen from two hour long sessions to “Wham bam, Thank you M’am.” Women simply do not understand how this could possibly happen. Well I’ll tell you. Life took over, work, planning, school, children (if you have any) and the everyday preassures of our existance.
In the beginning when you were both creating time to spend together and you made love constantly and for long periods of time, you failed to ensure that he knew exactly what it took to get you off. Now it’s coming back to haunt you. Because in the beginning he lasted for long periods of time, leaving you sore and out of breath but you didn’t mind because you knew that eventually you’d reach the almighty orgasm.
Now after all this time, he still has no clue exactly how to get you off and when he asked (if he ever asked, some men are so vain they never do) you told him some B.S. story about you’re not sure what it takes, it just happens when it happens. After awhile he’ll simply stop trying to make you orgasm and as the love making begins to taper off, every session will last only as long as it takes him to get his. Leaving you feeling short changed and complaining that he doesn’t please you anymore.
I had a girlfriend years ago who taught me that it was unfair for men not to at least ask what it took to please women. She also felt it was unfair that men didn’t listen, especially when you ladies say, “Right There!” Thinking back now I know why it was her that taught me to always ask, and to always, always listen, just in case the woman was too ashamed or embarrassed to simply tell me. The reason she was the one, she was an older woman, ten years my senior and she taught me plenty.
This post is about to get little bit uncomfortable for many of you so if you get embarassed easily please stop reading here:)
We are all adults I’m sure and although I’ve guarded my words when addressing you in the past, on this subject sometimes it’s just best to be blunt. I hope you that are still reading understand and forgive me, because I really want to help you help him help you. Confusing huh? Yeah, sex usually is.
Men having a saying, “We want a woman who is a lady in public, and a whore in bed.” Don’t take the whore part personally, what we are really saying is that we want a woman that seeks the same level of pleasure from the experience as us. Throw away all of your inhabit ions and concentrate solely on pleasing and being pleased by us. Real men will always keep their private lives just that, private. So in this sense if he loves you, you should be able to do whatever you want, or need to get the satisfaction you rightly deserve. In the end you’ll be happier and so will he, and when life sets in and takes away those long love making hours, the orgasms will remain regardless of how short the session is. Therefore you’ll never have to say to your girlfriends that he doesn’t please you anymore. Instead you’ll be thinking, “Damn, it’s still good.” Also, he’ll be happy because a happy man is a man who knows that his woman, girlfriend or wife is happy sexually.
Now, how do we go about teaching him exactly what you need and how to get you there? Remeber what I said in several posts about the cornerstones of all relationships are trust and communication. These are all you need to get the please you deserve.
Trust him enough to talk to him about you and your body. Tell him where everything is that drives you wild, from your toes to the back of your neck and earlobes. If it needs to be slow or fast and furious to make you cum let him know. If you have a secret toy that no one knows about that ensures that you reach climax, now is the time to tell him about it, and if he loves you, he’ll understand and help you use it. This is your time, it’s all about you.
Communicate your needs to him and then later test him to see what he’s learned. If it’s heavy foreplay, tell him. Oral is great, but why does it always have to be women who are on the giving end. Teach him exactly how you want to be licked and for how long. Don’t be shy, hell he’s not. Men always tell you what they want and need.
True story: When I was in the Military I met a very nice looking girl that was in another branch of service. We flirted for several weeks and eventually I talked her into coming to my dorm room to spend the night. I was a young man in my early twenties and I thought I knew how to please any woman by basically lasting for long periods of time. Whenever I was on the brink of reaching an orgasm myself, I’d simply change my thought process for the mission at hand to anything. Most times I’d stop myself by thinking about such things as baseball or basketball and the feeling of ejeculation would subside until I was ready and I thought my partner was satisfied.
So in this romp, that’s exactly what I did and I thought I’d done a fine job and that she would be pleased. Wrong! When I was done I asked if she had achieved orgasmic state and she smiled and said, “Of course.” I got up and walked to the restroom thinking I was the king of the female world. After I came from the restroom I walked nude to the other side of my dorm room to get some water for us. From this part of the room I could not see the bed that my playmate was laying on. When I returned to the area that she was in I was amazed to find her masturbating. My manhood was crushed, here I thought I had pleased her into sleep only to find that she wasn’t truely satisfied at all. Man what a young idiot I was. So to redeem myself I climbed back into bed and attempted to please her in anyway I could. In the end she did actually acheive orgasm, however we both were sore for a few days. However, afterwards she’d never come to spend the night with me again, so that ended that. Stupid young men and our egos.
A few years later I went out with the older woman and the first time we were together she controlled everything and I listened. I listened because she made things so simple and fun, as she once told me, “Sex is too much fun to be serious.” She taught me about things I’d never even imagined that women like, and a few things you ladies don’t like. Sorry. In the end, I knew as a young man what it takes most men well into their thirties to discover. Basically, it’s really not good if only one participant enjoys it. It’s really, really great if both parties are rewarded, and even better if you can both be rewarded at the exact same time. It’s during this time that you truely do become one.
Now, had I obtained this knowledge before the youg female service member, I could have been spared the humiliation I suffered and we both could have enjoyed many more sessions together. Because I had asked she may have informed me that she liked to masturbate and I would have participated with her to make her happy.Hell, in the end she wouldn’t even return my calls, but a few girls from her dorm voluntereed to visit me at my place. I thought they were just being nice, but I guess they liked shallow guys like I was at the time, idiots with endurance.
Ok, now that you’ve told him everything he needs to please you and you’ve showed him exactly how it’s done it’s time to give him his first test. Don’t worry he’ll be ok, all we’re really doing is conditioning him to perform like you want anytime you want. Somewhat like Ivan Pavlov, since men are thought of as dogs anyway.
After a few sessions you should begin by having a quicky. Tell him something such as you really want him, however you’ve only got 10 minutes in which to do it in. Now don’t be disappointed if he fails to get you off the first time you try this. You have to understand, time is pressure and he just may forget what you taught him because of it. It’s ok, afterwards let him know that you weren’t pleased and that he forgot what you taught him. Wait a week or so and test him again. He’ll get better and eventually he’ll forget about the ten minute time frame because he concentrating on taking care of your needs.
So five years down the line when you two are married and time is short, and he’s tired and you need him to take care of your needs he’ll complete the job to your satisfaction in an acceptable amount of time for you both.
Sex is a vital part of relationships and anyone who thinks that it’s the womans job to please men is a fool. It’s both participants job to ensure that the other is well pleased. Otherwise, someone is simply getting fucked and that’s not what you really want is it?
So now ladies, if you are planning on keeping him from years you may want to think about training him to please you for years to cum.